I got an email from the Gourmet Pantry a few days ago asking if I would be interested in going in on
case of soft shell crabs at some point. I have been dying to try these for a long time so I said sure and asked for half a dozen. Then Thursday I got an email about 1.30pm, saying the crabs had arrived and I needed to pick them up by 6pm that day. Because they were alive! I was not expecting this. (The following is not for the faint hearted.)
I picked them up (the lady helfully telling me to keep watch as this lot were fiesty - she was so not kidding) and got the home (apologizing to them for every bump even though I was taking them home to kill them!). I have cooked fresh live crab in France last year but apparently soft shell crabs are different. With a normal crab, I would put in the freezer for 10 mins to send it to sleep or knock it on its head to stun it and then put it in boiling hot water. They die really quickly. And then you can freeze the meat afterwards.
But soft shell crabs are apparently different. You can't just put them in the freezer. And they are best cooked just before eating them. So you have to prepare them and kill them first.
And to kill them you have to cut their heads off. :-( Then you have to clean them which involves cutting off the apron underneath (which I think is similar to castrating them) and then removing their lungs.
After half a bottle of wine (while the crabs waited in the fridge which is supposed to make them drowsy), I had psyched myself up enough to start. The first one was ok but seriously gross. They squirt juice everywhere. But he died a noble and dignified death.
And still it would not die. So I did what every self respecting grownup adult would do. I phoned my mom!
She was mostly just laughing at me, but it calmed me down enough to actually go back into the kitchen,
and not just give the kitchen over to the headless crabman (who was either trying to swim away or crawl back to his head!) My dad phoned my aunt who said to stab it behind the eyes. I assume that doesn't do any good if the head is already detached!
After over half a hour, I sucked it up and went back in. I tried cutting more off. Still moving. I stabbed it. Multiple times. It still moved. I hit it with a spoon. (Not sure why but it seemed like the thing to do at that point - blame 3/4 of a bottle of wine). It was the Rasputan of the crab world. And I should point out I still had another 4 to deal with, who I was pretty sure were planning a breakout at this point (they were warming up and waking up). So I put them all into the freezer!
After 20 mins (and another glass of wine), I took them out. He was finally dead! :-) I quickly took the heads of the other before I could think about it. It was a blood bath! I keep promising them a dazzling afterlife in Vahalla. (I am not religious so it didn't seem right to talk about heaven and after their fight, the afterlife for fallen warriors seemed appropriate. And you may think me mad, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time.) And yet they too wouldn't die. Apparently crabs dont really care it they have brains or not. (I know some people like this too.) So back in the freezer while I cleaned the actual dead ones. There was no way I was going to castrate and rip the lungs out of a crab that was not dead. That is just cruel. I was hoping to give them a quick painless death.
When I took the final 4 out of the freezer, 30 mins later, one was still moving! I put him back for another 15 mins deciding if he was still alive (headless and half frozen) then, I was going to fill the bath with salt water and the next day go to the coast and set him free! After all this he would have deserved it. :-)
Moving after 30 mins in the freezer!
But not necessary. After a traumatic 2 hrs, I finally had 6 cleaned and wrapped crabs ready for the freezer. There was no way I was eating them then! (I had a small plate of chips instead!) I am going to have to wait for the trauma to recede before I can eat them. (And yes I did have dreams of headless crabs!)
case of soft shell crabs at some point. I have been dying to try these for a long time so I said sure and asked for half a dozen. Then Thursday I got an email about 1.30pm, saying the crabs had arrived and I needed to pick them up by 6pm that day. Because they were alive! I was not expecting this. (The following is not for the faint hearted.)
I picked them up (the lady helfully telling me to keep watch as this lot were fiesty - she was so not kidding) and got the home (apologizing to them for every bump even though I was taking them home to kill them!). I have cooked fresh live crab in France last year but apparently soft shell crabs are different. With a normal crab, I would put in the freezer for 10 mins to send it to sleep or knock it on its head to stun it and then put it in boiling hot water. They die really quickly. And then you can freeze the meat afterwards.
But soft shell crabs are apparently different. You can't just put them in the freezer. And they are best cooked just before eating them. So you have to prepare them and kill them first.
And to kill them you have to cut their heads off. :-( Then you have to clean them which involves cutting off the apron underneath (which I think is similar to castrating them) and then removing their lungs.
After half a bottle of wine (while the crabs waited in the fridge which is supposed to make them drowsy), I had psyched myself up enough to start. The first one was ok but seriously gross. They squirt juice everywhere. But he died a noble and dignified death.
 |
| First cleaned and prepared. |
She was mostly just laughing at me, but it calmed me down enough to actually go back into the kitchen,
and not just give the kitchen over to the headless crabman (who was either trying to swim away or crawl back to his head!) My dad phoned my aunt who said to stab it behind the eyes. I assume that doesn't do any good if the head is already detached!
After over half a hour, I sucked it up and went back in. I tried cutting more off. Still moving. I stabbed it. Multiple times. It still moved. I hit it with a spoon. (Not sure why but it seemed like the thing to do at that point - blame 3/4 of a bottle of wine). It was the Rasputan of the crab world. And I should point out I still had another 4 to deal with, who I was pretty sure were planning a breakout at this point (they were warming up and waking up). So I put them all into the freezer!
After 20 mins (and another glass of wine), I took them out. He was finally dead! :-) I quickly took the heads of the other before I could think about it. It was a blood bath! I keep promising them a dazzling afterlife in Vahalla. (I am not religious so it didn't seem right to talk about heaven and after their fight, the afterlife for fallen warriors seemed appropriate. And you may think me mad, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time.) And yet they too wouldn't die. Apparently crabs dont really care it they have brains or not. (I know some people like this too.) So back in the freezer while I cleaned the actual dead ones. There was no way I was going to castrate and rip the lungs out of a crab that was not dead. That is just cruel. I was hoping to give them a quick painless death.
 |
| Castration! |
Moving after 30 mins in the freezer!
But not necessary. After a traumatic 2 hrs, I finally had 6 cleaned and wrapped crabs ready for the freezer. There was no way I was eating them then! (I had a small plate of chips instead!) I am going to have to wait for the trauma to recede before I can eat them. (And yes I did have dreams of headless crabs!)
 |
| Finally ready for the freezer. |
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